Spilling the beenz

"Close your eyes & slowly allow yourself to fall back...". I dare say the ones who haven't done the 'trust' exercise with a team member are few and far between! Letting go of the wheel and letting someone else take control is not something that sits well with us at all. As long as we have a modicum of control, or even the illusion of it sometimes, we find we can bear the toughest situation. It's pretty much like looking at a 1000 piece jigsaw and feeling so overwhelmed at the sheer number of tiny pieces, that you never begin. But focus on identifying just one of the corners and with even as few as five pieces that fit together, you  are filled with the confidence that it's not that big a puzzle after all! It's happened with such predictability, that I can now swear by this approach to an overwhelming situation - after indulging in the best pity-party ever, sit yourself down with a pen and paper. Divide it into 2 columns and title them...

Self-confidence. The most fragile thing on earth. I have seen the most self-confident, capable people develop cracks in their self-image, doubting their ability to handle the simplest of tasks. Sadly, our image of ourselves and our abilities is tied to the way others perceive us. So if you get passed over for a well-deserved promotion time and again, or see others who are clearly far less capable than you outshine you, its only natural that in time you will begin to question your image of yourself. I have seen this disease strike across all ages and occupations - teenage students, seasoned professionals, fresh graduates... The best way to take this on, I find, is to have a set of criteria by which you measure yourself. These need to be very specific and clear, so you don't leave room for delusion! Every now & then measure yourself by this yardstick and do the necessary course-correction as required. After all, you are the only one who knows what you are shaping yourself to ...