Spilling the beenz

'I heard it on the grapevine'. If the grapevine was important enough for Marvin Gaye to sing about, I think it's a valid enough subject for my random musings! Besides providing one of the yummiest fruits ever, that grapevine is also responsible for some not so palatable stuff as well. So what do you do with the fruit of the grapevine (no, not grapes)? I know organizations dread water cooler chats & the resulting grist for the rumor mill. But maybe it's time to stop and think about the problem instead of just addressing the symptom by discouraging said chats. In order to remain healthy and stay alive, any relationship, personal or professional, needs trust. Which in turn is built on credible communication. When the communication arteries get clogged, for whatever reason, the result is always a reduction in the health of the relationship. The sad thing is, the reasons are always justifiable in the minds of those who are clogging it up - ignorance is bliss; wh

"Close your eyes & slowly allow yourself to fall back...". I dare say the ones who haven't done the 'trust' exercise with a team member are few and far between! Letting go of the wheel and letting someone else take control is not something that sits well with us at all. As long as we have a modicum of control, or even the illusion of it sometimes, we find we can bear the toughest situation. It's pretty much like looking at a 1000 piece jigsaw and feeling so overwhelmed at the sheer number of tiny pieces, that you never begin. But focus on identifying just one of the corners and with even as few as five pieces that fit together, you  are filled with the confidence that it's not that big a puzzle after all! It's happened with such predictability, that I can now swear by this approach to an overwhelming situation - after indulging in the best pity-party ever, sit yourself down with a pen and paper. Divide it into 2 columns and title them

Self-confidence. The most fragile thing on earth. I have seen the most self-confident, capable people develop cracks in their self-image, doubting their ability to handle the simplest of tasks. Sadly, our image of ourselves and our abilities is tied to the way others perceive us. So if you get passed over for a well-deserved promotion time and again, or see others who are clearly far less capable than you outshine you, its only natural that in time you will begin to question your image of yourself. I have seen this disease strike across all ages and occupations - teenage students, seasoned professionals, fresh graduates... The best way to take this on, I find, is to have a set of criteria by which you measure yourself. These need to be very specific and clear, so you don't leave room for delusion! Every now & then measure yourself by this yardstick and do the necessary course-correction as required. After all, you are the only one who knows what you are shaping yourself to